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Thursday, June 23, 2005
Muslim Marriage by Razi Azmi - FrontPageMag
Over the last two or three decades, the age of marriage has steadily risen in Pakistan, but for a very different reason. It is now rare for a man to get married until he is in his late 20s or 30s. This means that we expect our young men (not to mention women) to abstain from any sexual activity until they are past their youth. There can be no doubt that this leads to undesirable and surreptitious sexual forays on the part of some and extreme frustration for others.
One reason for late marriages is the delayed completion of studies because of interruptions by strikes in educational institutions and political upheavals. Then there is the long and often fruitless hunt for a steady job. Typically, a young man’s mother, who has the decisive say in this matter, when asked about her son’s nuptials, will say: “pehlay larka set to ho jai (let the boy settle down first)”.
After he has found a “decent” enough job, he might be expected to contribute handsomely to the family coffers to finance his sister’s dowry and other marriage expenses, which consumes a couple of more years. Or he may be kept in reserve as the bait of last resort to find his sister a match through watta-satta, where a brother and his sister will marry another pair of siblings. The underlying principle of this ridiculous tradition is that a good product (the man, needless to say) is packaged with an inferior one (his sister). One can’t buy one without the other!
nice work. keep making waves!
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